Welcome Aboard

After that initial diagnosis we spent the evening calling family, both natural and chosen, to give them the news. Based on how emotionally strengthening this was for me, I recommend it to anyone who finds themselves in a similar situation.

Of course there was shock with everyone we talked to. Comments followed a theme:

"Cancer? Matty? He's the healthiest guy I know!" 

"Dude, seriously?"

"Cancer, as in cancer, cancer?"

But the support and encouragement overcame the disbelief and fear. Sharing with siblings, parents and friends has a fortifying effect. The love felt on that first night carries both of us on a daily basis.

And I am lucky that I got this feeling at work too. I didn't realize just how much my colleagues actually care for me and how much I care about them. Funnily enough, most of the times I have been overcome by emotion has been at work.

The next work day after I got the initial diagnosis I saw one of the people I have been working with since I hired her five years ago. As she gave me a hug it was all I could do to not bawl like a baby.

Another co-worker organized two gift bags filled with books and snacks for my period of recuperation. Again I had to keep it together. So and so dropped by with homemade cookies early one morning - I needed a quiet moment after that. And 31 people pooled funds to order 10 weeks of home delivery of smoothies and soup. Luckily, I opened the gift card with that bit of news at home, after my last day at work.

Family and friends have been checking in regularly. This keeps me in fighting shape.

I understand some people feel they shouldn't let others know they are having trouble. I've heard several stories of people with cancer not saying anything, not wanting to be a distraction, trying to fight on alone. I say DON'T DO THAT. Share it. Tell others, even if just one or two other people. Just saying the words out loud will help you feel better - and the love you receive in return will feel great.

During that first night of calls to all the loved ones we could think of, Marissa likened the whole experience to organizing some sort of endeavor. A voyage to be taken together, like on a ship. "The USS Healing Love" we decided it would be called.

Welcome aboard.