Last September my parents came to visit.  As my mother is a pretty big Elvis fan (though she plays it down, I know she is) it seemed only right that we should make our own little pilgrimage to the holy shrine of Graceland.

This brought to mind a religion-oriented discussion Marissa and I had years ago - sometime in the 90s - about the inevitable creation of the church of Elvis.  With the undying adulation he receives - even in the Northwest, where we lived at the time - it seemed almost certain that a religion was imminent. We even discussed possible icons and symbols, for example:

Little Golden Toilet Seats - Christ died on the cross and millions of people now wear little metal crosses as a symbol of their devotion.  Guess where Elvis died?

Fried peanut-butter and banana sandwiches as sacrament - everybody say "Body of Elvis"

We thought of more, and I bet you can too.

As far as I know, no Religion of Elvis has come to be.  I had been puzzled by this, sure that Marissa and I had been on to something, until one day it hit me.  There could be no rise of the Church of Elvis because the modern American Christian movement had already co-opted the spirit of Elvis.  Watch TBN sometime (or if you live in Nashville or any other city in the "Bible Belt" you can pick from several channels of Christian programming) and tell me they haven't stolen Elvis.

From the flashy sets, to the overdone hair (men and women) and from the schmaltzy music to the over the top outfits - this is Elvis, mama, and he wants you to accept Jesus.  The only problem is that they have stolen the worst parts of Elvis - the sad '70s Elvis, with the paunch, the Rhinestones and the lame karate kick.

These thoughts actually lead me to another revelation - American Christianity is entering its parallel to the '70s Elvis.  It has gone from the lean, courageous, open-armed stance of the Labor Movement and the Civil Rights era to the bloated, bombastic, and barely recognizable slouch of the Church as Destination.  Its only real competitor being Las Vegas itself.

This gives me hope - for as Elvis was just too far gone to ever make it back, so too, maybe, is the modern Christian movement. Please, Lord, where are the pills?