Way Down Upon the Rhine

May 15

There she is, our river queen, the Goethe. She was arriving to take us down the Rhine, departing from St. Goar. With a real live paddle-wheel, this luxury boat was the perfect way to enjoy a sunny, lazy cruise along one of Europe's most important waterways.

They even let me drive, which was nice.

Actually, as you might have guessed, I am not actually driving the boat. It was just too good of a silly tourist photo opp to pass up. I know I go on in these posts like I am some sort of sophisticated man of the world. Some sort of wise traveller-philosopher, dispensing enlightenment like a flight attendant dispenses peanuts. Underneath it all, I just want to have a picture of myself driving the boat, or picking the statue's nose, or making a funny face in front of the nonsensical billboard. That is a big part of travelling too - freeing yourself to be a little silly in a completely foreign - and therefore safe - environment. Just don't overdo it.

When I was finished taking this picture a very old man came up to me repeating something in German. Andrew translated for me, and it was roughly that I made a good looking captain. I was touched.

The Rhine might be important for transport, trade and industry, but it is also absolutely beautiful. Deep green hillsides, thatched with vineyards, rise steeply from the water. Castles, forts and adorably Germanic towns watch over you like kindly, strong grandparents.

And Germans like it too. In fact, we saw many, many RV parks along the banks, with happy German folks (how do I know they were German, you ask? Come on now, these folks are German. Just look at them. They are German with a capital G) drinking in the sunshine and releasing the stress of life in Frankfurt, Bonn, or Köln. Transplant them to the shores of Yuba Lake, and I would swear this was Utah circa 1986. Amazing how similar people can be.

About halfway through the voyage there was an increase of activity amongst the crew. Young men in safety gear were scuffling about urgently, though quietly and politely. This is never a good sign. Keep that in mind if you ever see it. Then keep your eyes open and one step towards the emergency exit.

In this case, the long chain used to tie the boat to the dock had slid loose and was now dragging through the water. Not a problem, really, until you consider that it could get caught in the paddle-wheel and, well, end our voyage in a rather unceremonious manner.

But the whip smart crew was not to let us down. They patiently fished the chain out with a big hook, carefully dragging it up so as to avoid damaging anything. In no time our little crisis was averted, and we could once again focus on the beauty around us.

Thank God for that, because the castles and vineyards and hillsides were just getting lovelier. By the time we reached Bacharach I was almost over stimulated by the spectacular scenery. This, of course, made me hungry.